


They Cannot Take It

by blumen



Category: Delirium Series - Lauren Oliver, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Crossover, Dystopian, Eren and Levi are both seventeen, Established Relationship, First Love, Forbidden Love, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, POV Eren Yeager, POV Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Two Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-29
Updated: 2014-07-30
Packaged: 2018-02-10 23:00:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2043486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blumen/pseuds/blumen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They didn’t understand that once love, the deliria, blooms in your blood, there is no escaping its hold. Things are different now. Scientists are able to eradicate love, and the government demands that all citizens receive the cure upon turning eighteen. But the worst happens to Eren; he catches the deliria.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Delirium

**Author's Note:**

> Eren feels really OOC but ehhhh I finally got myself to write something after months so I guess I'll just roll with it. And I stole the first part of the summary because I can't explain shit and I am trash

“The deadliest of all things: It kills you both when you have it and when you don’t.”

PHASE ONE

  *          Preoccupation; difficulty focusing
  *          Dry mouth
  *          Perspiration, sweaty palms
  *          Fits of dizziness and disorientation
  *          Reduced mental awareness; racing thoughts; impaired reasoning skills



It was all Levi’s fault. Eren wasn’t supposed to be feeling these emotions. His heartbeat shouldn’t stutter whenever he sees him, his chest shouldn’t constrict at the mere thought of not being around him, he shouldn’t want to wrap his arms around his frame and never let go.

Eren was fully aware of the dangers of the disease; his father had read him ‘The Book of Shhh’ every night as a child, but he refused to believe the symptoms. It was impossible for him to have contracted the Deliria. Eren, the famous doctor’s son, shouldn’t have fallen in love, with a boy nonetheless. He knew it was unnatural. He knew it was wrong, but that didn’t stop the fluttery feeling whenever Levi spoke to him.

His parents were starting to worry. Eren had become more distant since his grades had started dropping. Their son never seemed to be able to concentrate and was constantly daydreaming. When they had sat him down to talk he was visibly shaking as sweat trickled down his temples. Before they could even ask what was wrong Eren had tried to flee to his room. However his escape was interrupted by his father’s firm hand gripping his shoulder roughly.

“Eren we can’t have you acting like this in public, people will worry. Your operation is only in a few months and then you will be married to Mikasa. You just need to wait before this can get worse,” Grisha warned, his voice trembling slightly.

“Of course, father,” Eren replied in a wobbly tone. He stared into his father’s eyes, seeing fear and concern flicker through them like a quivering flame. “Good night,”

“Good night, Eren; Sleep well.”

**PHASE TWO**

  *          periods of euphoria; hysterical laughter and heightened energy
  *          periods of despair; lethargy
  *          changes in appetite; rapid weight loss or weight gain
  *          fixation; loss of other interests
  *          comprised reasoning skills, distortion of reality
  *          disruption of sleep patterns; insomnia or constant fatigue
  *          obsessive thoughts and actions
  *          paranoia; insecurity



Eren was certain he would never be happier than this. Nothing in his life would ever compare to the feeling of lying next to Levi naked as he curled into his muscular chest. His body ached from the previous night and he still hadn’t regained the feeling of his legs. Levi leaned down to pepper kisses along his jawline causing giggles to slip past his bruised lips.

“I love you, Levi,” Eren whispered, never wanting to leave the dizzying warmth of Levi’s body.

“Eren,” Levi frowned.

“I know you’re scared Levi, trust me I am too, but I want this, and I know you do too,” Eren replied, turning around to face his lover.

“This is dangerous, Eren,” Levi retorted cautiously, “I don’t want you getting hurt because of this,”

“And I won’t!” Eren exasperated, “Levi, please,”

The shorter male was silent for a moment before leaning in to capture Eren’s lips.

“You are going to be the death of me, brat.”

Eren stopped going to his athletics club. He only wanted to spend time with Levi. The thought of something happening to him constantly nagged him and he couldn’t just ignore it. Levi had wrapped himself around Eren’s conscious and invaded his every thought. Everything reminded him of Levi from the crumpled bed sheets of his room to pale, silver ocean by his house which matched his eyes. He wasn’t going to deny it any longer. He was obsessed with Levi and couldn’t bring himself to regret it.

**PHASE THREE (CRITICAL)**

  *          difficulty breathing
  *          pain in the chest, throat, or stomach
  *          difficulty swallowing; refusal to eat
  *         complete breakdown of rational faculties; erratic behavior; violent thoughts and fantasies; hallucinations and delusions



“Eren we can’t keep doing this,”

Levi may as well punched him in the face because that definitely would have hurt a lot less.

“Why, Levi!” Eren demanded furiously.

“Shh!” Levi hissed, “there could be people listening around here,”

Eren couldn’t think of why anyone would be at the beach at 3 am in the morning. Not even people on patrol came out here, but then again Levi always was cautious.

“Are you really going to give everything up just because they say our love is wrong?!” Eren choked, wiping away the angry tears forming at the corner of his eyes.

“We could get caught at any moment! Someone could find us and then we’d be worse than dead! You don’t get it, Eren! We are never safe!” Levi growled.

“We can’t just let those bastards win, Levi! Fuck all the people who decided that this is wrong! We can escape from here Levi, we can go to the Wilds and then we’d be free from these damned walls!”

“How would we survive there, Eren?! We don’t know the first thing about living in the wild!”

“THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE OUT THERE, LEVI! THERE ARE PEOPLE LIKE US! WE WOULDN’T BE ALONE!”

“We’d die before we’d reach the fence! We’re not safe anywhere! Not here, not the wilds, we’re on our own, Eren!”

“HOW CAN YOU KNOW THAT?! YOU CAN’T WIN IF YOU DON’T FIGHT!”

“Eren, I love you but I can’t keep doing this. I can’t let you get hurt because of me, I wouldn’t be able to live with the guilt,”

“Please don’t leave me, Levi,” Eren sobbed. His vision was swimming and he couldn’t breathe, “You can’t just leave, you can’t do that to me!”

“I have to.”

**PHASE FOUR (FATAL)**

  *          emotional or physical paralysis (partial or total)
  *          death



They had taken Levi away. No longer did Eren think of the short boy with raven hair and silver eyes. No longer did Eren feel anything.

Despite having only another month to go, they performed the operation, deeming it urgent. It was the only time Eren was seen his mother close to tears. He could never forget the piercing feeling in his stomach as he saw her hazel eyes cloud up.

It didn’t work though. Cases of the operation failing aren’t unheard of, but are definitely rare. Only a week later he was dragged back to the hospital to undergo the operation again. Eren shrieked the entire way there, clawing at the doctors prying hands. He had gone ballistic, attacking everyone who came near him. They couldn’t take away his emotions, not again. Eren could only remember a sharp pinch in his neck before waking up in a bleak, dusty cell.

Levi had once told him his mother had been placed in the Crypts when he was a child. He never said if she came out. But then again, people never do. The prisoners were dangerous, and more importantly contaminated. If they were to escape it would destroy Portland.

But escaping sounded far too tiring for Eren, in fact moving was simply exhausting. Gone was his ambition and passion, he knew he would rot in this cell until he was just a set of bones. Levi must have thought he was an idiot the entire time he had dreamed of a day when they could be together, Eren knew he certainly did. Thinking of Levi still hurt, even in the foggy mist that was now Eren’s brain.

A month later Eren was found with his shoelaces wrapped around his neck. They already knew it was too late. His body was immediately disposed of and his parents were notified. In the walls was engraved:

I'd rather die my way than live yours


	2. Levi's P.O.V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was requested so I forced myself to overcome my writers block and do it and ended with with this

Levi was frozen. He wasn't supposed to feel anything yet the heavy weight in his chest crashed down on him like a tidal wave anyway.

Eren was dead.

Levi wasn't a man to live with regrets, he believed they were pointless, but goddammit did he know he should have done something. Everything he had done to protect him had been for nothing and nothing could taste more sour. Whilst he no longer felt anything for the boy with the ocean in his eyes, he could still feel the painful churning in his stomach Eren had left.

"Levi, is everything okay?" Petra asked worried.

"Yeah, I'm just surprised that's all," Levi lied.

"I'm glad it wasn't you," Petra admitted, laying the newspaper back down on the coffee table, "Just goes to show how dangerous it really is, huh?"

Levi made a hum of approval as he turned towards the kitchen. He needed distance, and most importantly isolation. Once again Eren had broken past his icy barrier and shattered his world to pieces. Levi's orderly routine had been torn apart and his already damaged shield was cracking.

Eren would not fuck this up for him. For once everything was the way they it was meant to be; He was married to Petra, had a good job, and everything was finally normal. It was supposed to be better now. He couldn't let the brat ruin him again, not after everything he's been through just to get here. Even in death Eren was persistent.

Levi began to prepare himself tea to calm his heightened nerves. He distracted himself by setting out a blue teacup with floral detailing and sugar. He buried his fingernails into the flesh of his palms to keep away the rising nausea building in his chest. 

"Are you making tea?" Petra piped cheerfully as she strolled into the kitchen, "mind making me a cup?"

"Of course not," Levi replied blankly, reaching for another cup.

"Listen," she mumbled uncomfortably "you can be upset about what happened, I won't tell anyone. The operation can't work always work perfectly, can it?"

"You don't need to worry Petra, I'm fine," Levi reassured with more bite than he intended.

He couldn't have Petra being worried for him, fear does bad things to people. It was a feeling Levi knew far too well and he didn't want to have to experience it again. He was safe now. Petra won't be the only one concerned. Considering his past with his mother and Eren, everyone must be worried he would catch the deliria again.

Levi wasn't going to go back down that road. Not again. He had control now that the filthy deliria no longer contaminated his blood. He refused to go back to a life of lies, anxiety and pain. A gentle switch of the kettle snapped Levi out of his thoughts. The soft scent of lemon tickled Levi's nostrils as he poured the liquid into the two identical cups.

"Thank you," Petra smiled gently as she took the teacup from Levi's pale hands.

"Welcome," he replied curtly. A look of weariness washed over Petra's gentle features. Her dainty hands tightened their grip on the cup slightly before turning to face her husband.

"We're going to be okay, Levi." Petra whispered with creased eyebrows.

"I know," Levi sighed, avoiding Petra's gaze.

They were never going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I end up accidentally using alliteration so much I can't decided if it's really convenient or really annoying.

**Author's Note:**

> im gomen


End file.
